Breaking the Silence: NI charity calls for equal support for male victims of domestic abuse

Accurate domestic violence statistics are skewed by lack of focus on male victims

“Domestic violence doesn’t discriminate and nor should society … there’s no stereotypical victim so there should be no stereotypical gender.” – Nuala Lappin

At a time of increased focus on the horror of domestic abuse, there is often an assumption that victims are stereotypically female. However, the reality is that men are also suffering—often with little recognition or support.

Reports frequently highlight shocking figures of homicides and assaults against women, yet these statistics do not reflect the full picture. Male victims are often excluded from the totals, leaving a gap in understanding and policy.

Academics are carrying out research into Northern Ireland’s apparent uniqueness in domestic abuse patterns, pointing to potential causes including its post-conflict society, socio-environmental factors, and the Covid pandemic.

However, while these studies often centre on female victims, little attention is given to men.

Domestic Violence Awareness Consultant Nuala Lappin said:

“Domestic violence does not discriminate and nor should society. Anyone can be a victim and while the circumstances may differ, the suffering and outworkings are exactly the same.

“In my experience, men are less likely to report abuse, which is troubling as they should not be suffering in silence. That is a major driver in domestic abuse – the silencing and control of victims.”

She added:

“It is vital any person – regardless of gender – is supported equally as a victim, to empower them to safely step away from toxic relationships. We know there is no stereotypical victim, so there should be no stereotypical gender.”

Men’s Alliance NI: a lifeline for male victims

Men’s Alliance NI (MANi) is a peer-support organisation for male victims of domestic abuse, primarily based on Facebook. Established in 2018, it has shown how social media can be a powerful tool in reaching men who might otherwise remain silent.

The online community has grown into a network of 2,000 men, with more than 400 active users every day. Its private Facebook group provides a discreet and supportive space where men can connect, share experiences, and seek advice without the fear of embarrassment or stigma.

In 2024–25, MANi’s online presence expanded rapidly, with thousands of men and supporters engaging through its social media platforms. Many victims said their first step came from seeing a simple post, meme, or awareness campaign online—giving them the courage to join the private group or send a message for help.

PSNI figures show 29,751 incidents of domestic abuse were reported last year, with men making up more than a third of victims. Despite this, domestic abuse continues to be framed predominantly as a women-only issue, leaving men marginalised.

How MANi uses social media to break stigma

Through its online presence, MANi has:

• Broken down stigma with relatable, shareable posts challenging stereotypes about male victims.

• Provided clear information on where men can go for support.

• Created safe spaces online and in person where men can connect.

• Reached men who had never disclosed abuse before, offering support 24/7.

• Built a wider support network, engaging not just victims but also their families and friends.

MANi Chairman Carey Baxter said:

“Social media has given men a voice where traditional services have failed. We receive messages every week from men who tell us, ‘I thought I was the only one—until I saw your post.’ That one click can be the first step in breaking free from abuse.”

While stressing that online support is not a substitute for frontline services, MANi argues that digital engagement is an essential complement—particularly given the absence of a male refuge in Northern Ireland.

The charity is calling for government and statutory bodies to recognise the role of social media as a proven, cost-effective way of reaching hidden victims, while also investing in offline, face-to-face services tailored to men.

For more information, visit www.mensallianceni.co.uk or follow MANi on Facebook.